When we hear the warning: “This person has character!”, We are preparing in advance for the fact that it will not be easy with a new acquaintance. If sharp corners are visible immediately, then people usually mask their weaknesses and hide. But many years of psychological experience makes it possible, with due attention, to draw a conclusion about the maturity of a person by his behavior.
Scientists from the Institute for character studies for many years have been investigating the personality of a person and are convinced that there are no good and bad features, but there are strong and weak ones. Strong contribute to our growth, and the weak slow down and make unhappy. We are in AdMe.ru thought about it and, having analyzed the experience of popular psychologists, drew visual illustrations from life.
1. Imitation of an idol
For children and teenagers, imitation is a normal form of socialization. Defining their attitude to the world around them, they, more than anyone else, need a role model. With age, a healthy, strengthened personality stops copying and finds itself. If an adult person continues to look for idols, then his character has not yet been formed. The cases of fanaticism and the complete replacement of one’s own identity are called “celebrity imitation syndrome”, which affects about 15% of the total number of people living on the planet.
2. Inability to face difficulties face to face
All of us are characterized by embarrassment and timidity, especially in important, crucial moments of life. But some people, faced with some difficulties or being in an awkward situation, hide their heads in the sand. Even instinctively pressing their shoulders, pressing the neck inward. Psychologist Bill Knaus called it the ostrich trap syndrome, which hampers fear and uncertainty, making it difficult to fulfill your dreams and move towards the goal.
3. fixation on yourself
People tend to put in the frame of photos of loved ones, pets or just pleasant moments in life. But if a person hangs his home with his own photographs and looks in the mirror for a long time or counts the number of likes in social networks every free minute, then most likely you have a hysteroid (demonstrative) personality type. It is characterized by self-admiration, insatiable thirst for attention, the need for reverence. The main weakness of such people is that they are very easy to manipulate, playing on their sense of self-importance.
4. Fear to attract attention
Modesty is a good and useful quality as long as it does not prevent a person from remaining himself and self-actualizing. Psychologist Barbara Markway believes that excessive shyness is often mistaken for introversion. However, introverts, preferring loneliness, do not avoid communication, they simply choose it more carefully, while shy people suffer from low self-esteem, are afraid of being rejected, and restrain their real desires.
5. Criticizing the achievements of other people behind their backs.
Professor of clinical psychology Robert Leahy identifies 3 types of envy: depressive, positive and hostile. Depressive jealousy lowers our self-esteem and makes us feel like a failure, positive motivates to become better, and hostile causes anger and condemnation. And if the first two types most often have a temporary effect and can even positively affect a person, the third is part of the character and attitude to life. Instead of becoming better, a person begins to criticize and humiliate the one who was able to achieve results in order to look more profitable against his background.
6. Failure to insist
Easier to agree than to argue. This is a remarkable trait of character, which is inherent in flexible people who can avoid conflicts. But only if it does not interfere with own interests. A strong individual protects his personal space and respects someone else’s, while the weak easily give in to pressure and tactlessly violate borders.
If it is difficult for you to say “no”, then the psychotherapist Diana Barth advises to start small: instead of refusal, learn to speak with confidence about what you want. For example, if you are offered coffee, you can say: “Thank you, but I would drink water.”